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Những câu nói hài hước về phụ nữ Chuẩn đến 100%

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Những câu nói hài hước về phụ nữ sẽ giúp các bạn đọc có được những trận cười sảng khoái nhất. Phụ nữ như là một cuốn sách dày bạn không thể chỉ đọc trang đầu mà có thể hiểu được,. Vậy thì hãy cùng tìm hiểu những khía cạnh mới về họ, những điều hào hước và vui vẻ về hoj và đồng thời để hiểu họ hơn bạn nhé.

Những câu nói hài hước về Phụ Nữ chuẩn đến 100%

Những câu nói cười về phụ nữ mang đến cho bạn đọc nhiều điều mới mẻ mà chưa biết về họ. Trên đời điều khó hiểu nhất là phụ nữ, không người đàn ông nào có thể hiểu được phụ nữ họ sẽ nghĩ gì, làm gì hết. Vậy còn chần chờ gì nữa mà không đọc qua bài viết dưới đây để hiểu họ hơn nào.

– Phụ nữ là một ngôn ngữ mà đàn ông không bao giờ hiểu được.

– Chúng tôi luôn nắm tay nhau, bởi nếu buông ra, cô ấy sẽ đi mua sắm.

– Có ba cách truyền thông tin: đánh điện, xem tivi và nói với một phụ nữ.

– Những người đàn ông nói rằng “căn bếp là chỗ của phụ nữ” hãy nhớ rằng đó là nơi giữ rất nhiều dao.

– Phụ nữ chẳng khác gì cảnh sát, họ có mọi bằng chứng trên thế giới nhưng vẫn muốn một lời thú tội.

– Phụ nữ lái xe như những vì sao trên bầu trời. Bạn thấy họ, nhưng họ không thể nhìn thấy bạn.

– Nếu thế giới này nằm trong tay phụ nữ, chiến tranh sẽ không bao giờ xảy ra… mà đó sẽ là những cặp quốc gia không thèm nói chuyện với nhau.

– Đàn ông thường tuân thủ pháp luật nhiều hơn phụ nữ. Phụ nữ thường cảm thấy rằng vì họ không tạo ra luật lệ, nên những luật lệ đó dường như không liên quan gì đến họ.

– Rất khó để nói với một người phụ nữ về nơi bạn định đi… bởi vì nó còn khó hơn để trả lời những câu hỏi phía sau. Đi đâu? Đi đến khi nào? Đi vì cái gì? Và tệ hơn nữa là “Em cũng muốn đi”.

– Không có người đàn ông nào hiểu biết về phụ nữ nhiều như tôi. Còn tôi thì không biết gì về họ.

– Đàn ông kết hôn với phụ nữ với hy vọng họ sẽ không bao giờ thay đổi. Phụ nữ kết hôn với đàn ông với hy vọng họ sẽ thay đổi. Và rồi, cả hai đều thất vọng.

– Làm thế nào để tìm một người vợ? Bước 1: Tìm một người phụ nữ hiện tại bạn đang thích nhưng sẽ ghét sau khoảng 5 năm nữa. Bước 2: Hãy cho cô ấy ngôi nhà của bạn.

– Mỹ phẩm là vật không thể thiếu đối với phái đẹp, nhưng bạn thân nhất của một cô gái thường vẫn là một người đàn ông bị cận thị.

– Chỉ khi nào một người phụ nữ trông trẻ hơn con gái mình 10 năm, chừng ấy họ mới hoàn toàn hài lòng.

– Bạn có thể tưởng tượng một thế giới không có đàn ông không? Đó là nơi không có tội phạm và rất nhiều phụ nữ béo phì nhưng vui vẻ.

– Sigmund Freud đã từng nói: “Phụ nữ muốn gì?”, điều duy nhất tôi học được trong 52 năm qua là phụ nữ muốn đàn ông ngừng hỏi những câu hỏi ngớ ngẩn kiểu như thế.

– Mặc dù đã 30 năm nghiên cứu về suy nghĩ của phụ nữ, tôi vẫn không thể trả lời được câu hỏi lớn hóc búa nhất trong lịch sử nhân loại: Người phụ nữ muốn gì?

– Đàn ông sẽ chi 2 USD cho một món hàng trị giá 1 USD mà họ rất cần. Phụ nữ sẽ dành 1 USD cho một món hàng trị giá 2 USD mà họ có thể chẳng bao giờ dùng tới.

– Làm thế nào để biến một con cáo thành một con voi? Hãy cưới cô ấy.

– Vào giờ phút quyết định, tôi đặt rất ít niềm tin vào phụ nữ.

– Hãy đưa cho cô gái một đôi giày vừa vặn, cô ấy có thể chinh phục cả thế giới.

– Tâm trí của phụ nữ thường “sạch” hơn nam giới bởi họ thay đổi tâm trí thường xuyên hơn. Một phụ nữ Pháp khi bị lừa dối, sẽ muốn giết chết đối thủ của mình, phụ nữ Ý thích giết người yêu phản bội, phụ nữ Anh đơn giản chỉ là cắt đứt mối quan hệ. Nhưng giữa họ có một điểm chung là an ủi bản thân với một người đàn ông khác.

– Tôi muốn làm một người phụ nữ hơn là một người đàn ông. Phụ nữ có thể khóc, có thể mặc quần áo dễ thương và họ là những người đầu tiên được giải cứu khỏi tàu chìm.

– Khuôn mặt của người đàn ông là một cuốn tự truyện về anh ta. Khuôn mặt một người phụ nữ là tác phẩm hư cấu của cô ấy.

– Điều đáng sợ nhất là khi một người phụ nữ nói với tôi rằng: “Anh có thấy điều gì khác biệt không?”.

– Nếu vợ bạn muốn học lái xe, tốt nhất bạn không nên đứng trước mũi xe của cô ấy.

– Một người đàn ông có thể đúng hoặc sai… nhưng một người phụ nữ luôn luôn đúng.

– Phàm những chuyện đại sự trong thiên hạ, cứ về nhà hỏi vợ. Vợ bảo sao cứ làm ngược lại, ắt sẽ thành công.

– Chỉ có người ngu ngốc thì mới bảo một người phụ nữ ngừng nói chuyện, vì một người khôn ngoan sẽ nói với cô ấy rằng, miệng cô ấy rất đẹp khi đôi môi cô ấy khép lại.

– Khi vợ tôi nói rằng cô ấy sẽ sẵn sàng trong 5 phút, tôi biết tôi có đủ thời gian để bay lên không gian và viết một bài thơ lên mặt trăng trước khi chúng tôi đi.

Những câu nói bá đạo về phụ nữ khiến bạn không thể nhịn cười

Phụ nữ là tạo vật khó hiểu nhất thế giới. Họ nói có cũng có thể thành khong mà nói không cũng có thẻ thành khó. Muốn hiểu họ hơn thì hãy cùng cười té ghế với những câu nói bá đạo về phụ nữ dưới đây bạn nhé.

– Không có người phụ nữ xấu chỉ có người phụ nữ sửa hoài không đẹp

– Vào giờ phút quan trọng…Tôi đặt rất ít niềm tin vào phụ nữ.

– Vợ hiền là:
Không bắt chồng nấu cơm
Không bắt chồng lau nhà
Không bắt chồng giặt đồ
Không bắt chồng trông con
Mà chỉ cần liếc mắt là chồng phải làm hết.

– Cơn bão xa 8/3 sắp đổ bộ trên toàn Bắc – Trung – Nam
Có sức gió mạnh mạnh đến rất mạnh kèm theo mưa lớn
Có khả năng càn quét sạch ví của các đấng mày râu
Đề nghị anh em tìm chỗ trú ẩn an toàn ngày từ bây giờ
Tắt điện thoại và có thế giả câm, giả điếc hoặc giả điên càng tốt
Kính mong mọi người chú ý để phòng tránh bão

– Đằng sau một người đàn ông thất bài luôn có một người đàn bà xúi dại
Đằng sau mỗi người đàn bà xúi dại là một thằng thứ ba vô cùng lợi hại.

– Phàm mọi chuyện đại sự trong thiên hạ nên về nhà hỏi vợ…
Vợ nói sao cứ làm ngược lại ắt thành công -Tào Tháo

– Không có người đàn ông nào biết về phụ nữ nhiều hơn tôi. Còn tôi thì không biết gì về họ.

– Nếu thế giới này nằm trong tay phụ nữ, chiến tranh sẽ không bao giờ xảy ra… Mà đó sẽ là những cặp quốc gia không thèm nói chuyện với nhau.

– Cách duy nhất để khiến một cô gái lắng nghe bạn là hãy nói chuyện với một cô gái khác.

– Thuận vợ thuận chồng con một đống

– Chúng tôi luôn nắm tay nhau, bởi nếu buông ra, cô ấy sẽ đi mua sắm.

– Giấy đăng ký kết hôn là giấy phép cho phép phụ nữ điều khiển đàn ông

– Đầu óc của phụ nữ sạch hơn đàn ông vì họ luôn thay đổi

– Tôi không lo lắng khi có nhiều phụ nữ xinh đẹp vây quanh. Họ đã quá bận rộn với việc ganh ghét nhau thay vì chú ý đến tôi.

Stt hài hước về phụ nữ – Chỉ có phụ nữ mới hiểu

+ Đằng sau một người đàn ông thất bài luôn có một người đàn bà xúi dại
Đằng sau mỗi người đàn bà xúi dại là một thằng thứ ba vô cùng lợi hại.

Xem thêm
Mẫu thông báo tuyển dụng hấp dẫn ứng viên nhất hiện nay

+ Phàm mọi chuyện đại sự trong thiên hạ nên về nhà hỏi vợ…
Vợ nói sao cứ làm ngược lại ắt thành công -Tào Tháo

+ Không có người đàn ông nào biết về phụ nữ nhiều hơn tôi. Còn tôi thì không biết gì về họ.

+ Nếu thế giới này nằm trong tay phụ nữ, chiến tranh sẽ không bao giờ xảy ra… Mà đó sẽ là những cặp quốc gia không thèm nói chuyện với nhau.

+ Cách duy nhất để khiến một cô gái lắng nghe bạn là hãy nói chuyện với một cô gái khác.

+ Thuận vợ thuận chồng con một đống

+ Chúng tôi luôn nắm tay nhau, bởi nếu buông ra, cô ấy sẽ đi mua sắm.

+ Giấy đăng ký kết hôn là giấy phép cho phép phụ nữ điều khiển đàn ông

+ Đầu óc của phụ nữ sạch hơn đàn ông vì họ luôn thay đổi

+ Tôi không lo lắng khi có nhiều phụ nữ xinh đẹp vây quanh. Họ đã quá bận rộn với việc ganh ghét nhau thay vì chú ý đến tôi.

+ Không có người đàn ông nào biết về phụ nữ nhiều hơn tôi. Còn tôi thì không biết gì về họ.

+ Nếu thế giới này nằm trong tay phụ nữ, chiến tranh sẽ không bao giờ xảy ra… Mà đó sẽ là những cặp quốc gia không thèm nói chuyện với nhau.

+ Cách duy nhất để khiến một cô gái lắng nghe bạn là hãy nói chuyện với một cô gái khác.

Xem thêm
[Top 5+] Máy đánh trứng Bosch được tin dùng nhiều nhất hiện nay

Trên đây là những câu nói hài hước về phụ nữ mà chúng tôi sưu tầm được. Hy vọng sau nó mang dến cho bạn đọc những khoảng thời gian vui vẻ, bổ ích, sảng khoải sau những giờ làm việc, học tập mệt mỏi. Và một điều quan trọng là hiểu phụ nữ nhiều hơn.

Câu Nói Hay – Tags: những câu nói hài hước

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  • [TOP] những câu nói hay khi chia tay người yêu bạn đọc rưng lệ

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  • “Cưa Đổ Nàng” với Top những câu tán gái hay ngắn gọn và hài hước

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  • Những câu nói ngôn tình ngọt ngào thả thính như rót mật vào tai

Những câu nói hài hước về phụ nữ sẽ giúp các bạn đọc có được những trận cười sảng khoái nhất. Phụ nữ như là một cuốn sách dày bạn không thể chỉ đọc trang đầu mà có thể hiểu được,. Vậy thì hãy cùng tìm hiểu những khía cạnh mới về họ, những điều hào hước và vui vẻ về hoj và đồng thời để hiểu họ hơn bạn nhé.

Xem thêm bài viết cùng chuyên mục: Wiki

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